Let’s get this going again.
What better contrast to classic poetry than horrible, irritating car-commercial songs with pompous, pseudo-badass lyrics?
First things first,
Time to play early games upon the sched,
So tired, arms expired, and a rocky way ahead (oh, poo)
Been knocked around and bled (oh, phoo)
Seconds have reckoned
And the pen has been exhausted as can be,
Starters can’t get the win, not in our reality (so poo)
So far the worst degree (so few)
Things are broken at the open,
Burnin’ and smokin’ down to ashes,
Givin’ up homers by the pool,
The towering powering glowering feelings
And feeling a strike’ll conquer men
Seeing the cycle of the pen
“Take a quick hike,” I’ll take the blame,
Doing my duty for a
Game!
Now bring me a, now bring me a
Reliever, reliever
Same!
Now send one down, now call one up:
Reliever, reliever
Came
To let some pitches fly and mute the
Blame
And swap another in, another
Game
Now bring me a, now bring me a
Reliever, reliever
Heard absurd:
“Get your cap, get your ball, get your glove”
Face the plate, say no word,
There’s naught to hear or ponder of (no, phew)
When clear, just take the shove (so poo)
First it was Dobnak with the crowd,
Then came McCaughan lauded loud;
Since it’s been Blewitt throwin’ proud,
Someone to do it, never cowed.
But the churning and turning and burning the pitchers
Exhausting by tossing and costing the bullpen
And chasin’ a place in one
Game!
Now bring me a, now bring me a
Reliever, reliever
Same!
Now send one down, now call one up:
Reliever, reliever
Came
To let some pitches fly and mute the
Blame
And swap another in, another
Game
Now bring me a, now bring me a
Reliever, reliever
Last: can’t last,
Need the arms, so go back to Triple-A;
Want a place in the pros,
Want to come up and stay (oh, phew)
So numb not to play (so poo)
And the pitching is itching and wishing yet futile,
Still hoping and moping but coping for only
To stay for and play for one
Game!
Now bring me a, now bring me a
Reliever, reliever
Same!
Now send one down, now call one up:
Reliever, reliever
Came
To let some pitches fly and mute the
Blame
And swap another in, another
Game
Now bring me a, now bring me a
Reliever, reliever
(Side note: I hadn’t known the lyrics before looking them up for the parody. “Believer” by Imagine Dragons is now on the list of songs which I already couldn’t stand that has become worse by knowing the words.)